Not Like Other Women
by the-valkyrie-writes
Summary: Bellatrix Lestrange once thought she could be like other women. She was wrong. Written for The Lady Avaritia's "No Mother of Mine" Challenge on the HPFC forum.


**Written for The Lady Avaritia's "No Mother of Mine" Challenge at the HPFC forum**

**Character:** Bellatrix Lestrange

**Family Member:** Daughter

**Word count: **800 words exactly

_January 23__rd__, 1981_

Fear. That was the first thing Bellatrix felt when she found out. Not happiness. She felt only fear, shock, not the initial elation which most women would experience. But then, she was not most women, and her situation was somewhat different to that of most.

The thoughts began streaming through her head. Fear of death, fear of disappointment, fear of punishment, fear of letting Him down.

How could she have let this happen? She'd always made an effort to be responsible, not to make a nuisance of herself. She'd always made sure to cast all the necessary charms – He was immortal, after all – there was no need for an heir.

He'd hardly be pleased, she knew. He didn't love her, only very rarely in the past had she allowed herself to entertain such foolish thoughts. When she was younger, still full of a young girl's romantic dreams and wishes, she'd hoped, perhaps, in time...

But what future could there be for a woman with morals so deranged, and a man who could not love? It was all convenience to Him. Every movement of His hands, His lips, His eyes, it was solely for Him, never for her.

And He never let her forget it.

* * *

><p>"My Lord." Bellatrix spoke quietly, standing in the doorway of his richly furnished office, her pale face even whiter than usual. "May I speak with you?"<p>

"You may. What is it, Bella? I'm rather busy." He replied, putting down the letter He'd been reading, and standing to walk in front of his dark oak desk.

"I... I am with child." she said it quickly, wincing as she heard the words leave her mouth. Perhaps saying it quickly would make it less serious, less of a fault; might make Him less likely to punish her than if she'd waited.

"Why are you telling me this?" He said.

"Well, with all due respect, my Lord, it is your child. I assumed you'd want to know." Bellatrix said, frowning slightly. She'd expected anger, at least some kind of a reaction.

"You are sure?" He asked her, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. Rodolphus and I... we are not a conventional married couple, my Lord." Bellatrix reddened slightly.

Of course it was His! Didn't He know that since He'd asked for her the first time, she hadn't been able to even look at anyone else, let alone be with them in that way which she only ever wanted to share with Him.

"Evidently." said the Dark Lord. "Do whatever you want, Bellatrix. I have no need for a child, and I certainly don't have the time to be bothering with one. It is your decision. However, you should be aware, that it will be near impossible for you to continue in the organisation after a certain point, as I have no need for a useless servant."

Bellatrix nodded, her loyalty to Him surpassing any motherly feelings she might ever have entertained. "I understand. Thank you." She turned to leave. He didn't call after her, though she wished He would.

An impossibility, she thought. What had she expected? Had she expected Him to be pleased, or that He would want her more if she carried His child?

No. She would never experience the joy of a new mother, of a woman who carries the offspring of a happy affair, a loving relationship.

She understood what she must do. She was His most faithful, the one who, above all others, would do anything for him.

This was no different. She would do the necessary thing.

For she was not like other women.

* * *

><p><em>November 23<em>_rd__, 1997_

Bellatrix was tired. The mission had not gone particularly well, and He had punished her. She wanted nothing more than to go to bed, to forget the trials of the last few days, the burning shame of having disappointed Him, and to sleep.

But first, she had something to do. She slipped quietly out of the manor, pulling a dark cloak over her shoulders, not telling anybody that she was leaving.

She apparated to the forest, to the clearing she'd discovered many years ago, and choked back a sob once more, as she saw it. A small tablet stood in the clearing, marble gleaming in the moonlight, too small for a gravestone, not marking a grave. No grave had ever been constructed.

After all, one who had never even lived could never die.

Bellatrix sank to her knees in front of it and wept.

She wept for herself, for all that she'd had, and for all that she'd lost. She wept for the child she'd never know, the daughter she had sacrificed, the life she had wasted.

All for Him. All that she'd done was for Him.

For she was not like other women.

**Please let me know what you think!**

**x Bea**


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